Brand New Day

The last time I wrote was about my dad so I only find it fitting to update you all on his progress. On saturday after being in the hospital for about three weeks he was finally released and allowed to go home. Since then he has been getting healthier and finally sounding and acting like my dad, the man that likes to sing random words, who likes to just be a goof ball, who loves me and my stories...while he was in the hospital I missed that more then anything. As mentioned in my previous blog my dad has a disease called Colitis which has prevented him from eating various foods such as dairy products, spicy foods, greasy foods, and seeds.  He had been unable to eat any of those things for about twenty years, but the purpose of the surgery was to cut out the disease so for the time since back then he had cheese on crackers. When he told me I have never heard someone so excited in my entire life. He was listing all the things he had been eating such as a glass of milk and oreo cookies. My dad said that when he drank that milk and ate those cookies he cried, for the first time he felt free and could eat what he wanted too. Its so crazy how people including myself take things for granted such as drinking a glass of milk, but it's not just drinking the glass of milk it's how you feel in that moment. In that moment my dad felt liberated. 

So with that said next time you can't do something for a long time and then you do it, you should keep track of that feeling and remember that for anytime you feel down, helpless or defeated. 

So, of course there has been more unnecessary drama in my life with Dave. I can honestly say that during Spring Break when I saw him and we spoke and had some great moments, that that is exactly what I needed for closure. When I came back here after Spring Break I don't know exactly what I expected from Dave except a friend and unfortunately he was unable to be there or do that for me. Although I am frustrated I have to understand that maybe he just has/had way to much to deal with and can't be a friend...which is sad but true. 

I believe that I entered Dave's life at a perfect time in which he needed a push he needed someone to show him that he is worth something and can still do things with his life. I feel like once he is at the place he truly needs to be he will never have to or need to talk to me anymore, because he will have all the knowledge that he will have needed and will be able to start the next chapter of his life, leaving me in the last chapter hopefully entitled "The push I needed to survive in this world". As for me he entered my life at a great time too...to show me what I can do, what I can't do and what I need and don't need. I found this quote the other day and I find it quite fitting:

"Life doesn't give you the people you want. It gives you the people you need. To help you, to hurt you, to love you to leave you, and to make you into the person you were meant to be."

It's time to close that chapter of my life and I will call it "And she spent years in the cocoon and finally emerged from it and became a butterfly".

Now for music I think that certain songs, pieces, works etc. enter your life for a reason same as with people. Why is it that we discover a certain song the day we need it the most? It's not that it wasn't there the entire time but we weren't ready to realize it was there, so that when we do realize it, it creates a strong and better impact. Music is fascinating, it is beautiful, scary, sad, confusing. All those adjectives can describe life as well. Music as well as anything else that can change, reflects the person who then expresses it for/to the public, the public takes it and uses it the way they please to get them by. You can use the same sentence take out some words and apply to pretty anything and everything. 

With that said I am going to go sing in the practice room...let my emotions dictate my pieces and be permeated with my music.

Brand New Day-Joshua Radin

Some kind of magic happens late at night 

When the moon smiles down at me and bathes me in its light.

I fell asleep beneath you in the the tall blades of grass

When I woke the world was new I never had to ask.

It's a brand new day the sun is shining, It's a brand new day

For the first time in such a long long time I know I'll be ok.

Most kind of stories save the best part for last

And most stories have a hero who finds you make your past your past. 

It's a brand new day the sun is singing, It's a brand new For the first time in such a long long time I know I'll be ok. 

This cycle never ends you gotta fail in order to mend.

It's a brand new day, it's a brand new day

For the first time in such a long long time I know I'll be ok.