Goodnight My Angel

It has been about a week since the last time I talked to Dave, and today would have been our 7 months together. If you know me, then you know that not talking to someone for that long is extremely difficult. Not just because I miss him sometimes, (and by miss I mean I miss having someone and I miss who he was before we broke up) but because I am the type of person that has to talk to her friends when they are not doing so well. But in order to take care of myself and put myself first I am not talking to Dave for a while. I will be home in about eleven or so days for Spring Break and I still don't know if I want to see him to give him back his stuffed animal that he had since he was two. Part of me thinks that it would be a good idea, a good way to get the rest of the closure I need plus Kelsey will be with me so that will make it easier. The other part of me thinks that I just should wait until I really think that I want to see him, I am doing good without him and I wouldn't want to relapse or something. 

Tonight Monica and I went out to dinner hopefully this will be the last time I will really need someone to be with me during a time that Dave and I would have been together. Like I said, I am doing really good throughout all of this but I am not a machine, I do need to talk about it still. 

I can't wait for Spring Break, it will be the first time since January that I have been home and I can't wait to see everybody, especially since no one has seen me since Dave and I broke up. I am so excited that Kelsey will be coming with me. It will be a good chance to show her around and meet my friends and not dwell on the fact that I could be with him. 

I think one day we are going to spend a day in DC and another day with my sister, and then one day I will be finally getting my nose pierced! The fact that I have waited this long is a miracle, normally I am extremely compulsive about stuff like this considering I am diagnosed with OCD, but I am trying to improve and wait and save money, which is a huge thing for me to say. 

I talked to my dad a lot today considering I can't talk to my sister and mom. I miss my family a lot I really do. They are the best family I could have ever asked for and I am not just saying that. They are incredibly supportive loving, and  just freakin amazing. The more I grow up the more I realize how much I am like my parents except I am the "advanced" versions of them, meaning I have figured things out emotionally faster then they ever did. I am a very unique, weird, interesting individual but you should meet my parents. You think I always sing? My dad is constantly making songs up and they are not well composed songs they are nonsense words nonsense everything that just pops out of his mouth. You think I fidget? You should see my mom when she is watching TV she is constantly bobbing her leg up and down. My sister is probably the most normal out of all of us, but the more I think about it, the more I disagree...she is a strange one too, but I love it. 

As I am about to go to bed which is cold because it is next to the window I can't help but think that my mom and sister are out at some bar in Mexico living it up all warm and ughhhh haha.

Goodnight My Angel by Billy Joel

"Goodnight my angel, time to close your eyes and save these questions for another day. I think I know what you've been asking me, I think I know what I've been trying to say. I promised I would never leave you and you should always know, wherever you may go, no matter where you are I never will be far away."